Chapter 28 - Someone To Cry To

The babies bellies are full and their butts are dry.  Jon takes them back to the nursery so he could help Beth get a shower.  The nurse had been in and covered her incision with plastic after the doctor gave her the okay.


Beth wasn't feeling too much pain, so she was able to do most if it herself, but she liked having Jon there.  "We need to come up with some names, soon."  She says as she gets in.  "I love calling them baby girl and baby boy, but I don't think that they would like it as they got older."

Jon laughs at that, "I was thinking that baby boy Bongiovi sounded good, you don't think he'll like it?"

"Um, no." she laughs back at him, "They need special names.  Strong names."

"They'll have Bongiovi, how much stronger can it get?"

"I'm serious."

"Babe, we'll pick the right names for them.  We have time, there is no need to rush it."

"I know."  She starts to quickly wash and get out.  It's not very refreshing when your abdomen has been stapled back together and when your sore.  But she did feel clean.

Wrapped in a towel, she looks at the one man that could piss her off and break her down in just one second and asks him, "What if they're Brian's?  Have you thought about that?"

He nods his head, "That's all I've really thought about, but I don't think that they are.  Baby girl has my mole."

"I don't think that they are either, but we need to remember that there is that possibility." she says to him as she towel dries her hair.  He can see that she's in minor pain.   

He walks up to her and takes her towel, "Turn around."  She does as she's told, and turns around.  Jon gently towel dries her hair.  He can't help but kiss the back of her damp neck.  

"Don't" she says, as she steps away.  "I'm not ready for that."

"Babe, it was just a kiss." he steps back, handing her the towel.  "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry Jon, I just don't want to deal with that now." she grabs her brush from her 'to go' bag.  "I'm glad you're here, but I don't want to talk about us or act like there is an us."  She sits on her bed and brushes her hair.  He follows her out of the bathroom and takes care of her shower mess.  

"I don't want to act like there's an us either Beth.  I want there TO BE an us." he puts her dirty socks in her dirty garment bag.  "You know that we are supposed to be together."

"I do know that, and it's taken me a long time to admit it to myself - but for right now can we not talk about it?"  She was watching his face the whole time that she spoke and she could see the half smile that he was trying to hide, she could see that glimmer in his eye flicker a little brighter.

He sits next to her and agrees, "I promise that we don't have to talk about it now, but I need you to understand something."

"What?" she asks, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.  Not expecting the words that she's going to hear.

"You just gave me two beautiful children and that only strengthens and multiplies my love for you, and even I didn't think that was possible.  So while I'm here, if I want to hold your hand, lay with you, rub your back or kiss you - you need to let me.  Babe, I cannot tell you how much I have missed you."  His arm goes around her and he pulls her closer.  She melts into him and laughs.

"I don't mind the hand holding or none of that stuff, I just don't want us being here over the next couple of days and acting like everything is fine, because it's far from fine."

"I agree!"

"While were here, we can get along and see what happens. But I really don't want to talk about it, that's all."

He kisses the top of her head, her wet hair smells like the honeysuckle shampoo that she uses.  "We can leave it alone."

"Thanks!  You know I love you, and I have missed you too.  That should be enough to get us through, right?"

"More than enough."  

She turns on her butt and eases herself back on the bed.  She's exhausted and needs to lay down.   Jon helps her by fluffing her pillows and covering her up.  "Would you get me some tylenol?  I should be able to have some more by now."

"Anything else?  Are you hungry?" he questions.

"I could eat."

He knows that they just had a little chat, but he really didn't care.  He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "I'll be right back."  And he leaves.  She gets herself comfortable in bed and calls the nurse to have the babies brought back to her.  She could feel that she needed to nurse.  

The babies make it to her before Jon does, and she was able to feed them without assistance.   When he enters the room, he sees that both babies are on her lap, on a pillow and she's just staring at them.  He can see that she has peace within her soul and that she just might be okay.  He places her medicine and food on her table and washes his hands.  Once they are dry, he sits on the edge of the bed and looks at them, with her.  "I want them to have Rowan and Spencers names for their middle names."  she tells Jon, but more in a way of asking that he agree with her.  

"That's a great idea." he thinks about it for a second.  "I guess each name would work for either a boy or a girl."

"I was thinking Jon Spencer Bongiovi, what do you think?"

"My name?  Really?" he has a inquisitive look on his face, "There has to be something better."

"Jon is a great name.  It's a strong name."

"The world does not need another Jon Bongiovi."

"The name doesn't make the man, Jon." she starts to explain that but decides it's better left unsaid.  "I think his name should be Jon Spencer."   To Jon that sounded like a period.  It sounded like it was no longer open for discussion.

"What about her name.  She needs a name that sounds good with Rowan."  Beth frowns and Jon sees it.

"What about McKenna?" she has tears in her eyes.  She was able to block out some of the heart ache because she was consumed by the little ones laying on her lap.  Their unexpected early birth was just what she needed mentally, but all of the pain is back - now that she started talking about names.

"McKenna's name is just that, McKenna's name.  She will be the only McKenna in my heart."  Jon states.

"Shouldn't we use her name too?"

"No.  Her name is hers, babe." Jons connection with McKenna went much deeper than she ever thought.  The months that they spent together, when Beth worked so hard to open her firm, were months that no one could ever take away from him.  He and McKenna had a bond that even her death couldn't touch.  Jon felt her close and he felt her close often, he wasn't letting anyone get her name.  He didn't care that they named her after a baby that they never even knew, he didn't care that she had passed - that was her name, she was his baby girl and no one was using her name.

Beth can see that it was a touchy subject for him and she wasn't going to push the issue.  She knows that he misses McKenna, she misses McKenna, but she can now see the bond that he did have with her.  "Okay, so we need something that goes with Rowan Bongiovi."

"You don't want to use Rowan as a first name?" he asks her, thinking that she might but he wasn't sure.  He wouldn't mind, he loved that name.

She shakes her head no.  "I don't want to use it as a first name.  They deserve a first name that's unique to them, not after a dead sibling."

"I understand."

There's a knock on the door.  They both look up and are equally floored when they see Tammy and Dorothea standing there.  Beth can't talk, she's so stunned and on the verge of angry that Dorothea would even dare stop at the hospital.  "What are you doing here?"  Beth snaps at Dorothea.

"I came to see you a the vineyard but you weren't home."

"What are you doing with Dorothea, Tammy?"  Beth snaps at her too.

"It was coincidence, total coincidence."  Tammy holds up her hands like she was freezing for the police.  "She was at the vineyard when I was.  I came because I took a couple of days off, wanted to see you."

Jon jumps in, "What do you want Dorothea?"  he tries to hide his disdain, but they all know him too well.  "What brings you to California?"

Tammy walks up to Beth's side and looks at the twins, that are sound asleep leaning on each other. "They are beautiful."  Beth just looks at her.

"Dorothea!"  Jon gets a little louder, "Where are the kids?"

"Shut up Jon."  She reaches into her purse and pulls out a bunch of papers.  "I wanted to give these to her, personally."  And she hands them to Beth.

Beth takes the papers and looks at them.  "Why are you giving these to me?  They are none of my business."  Beth is pissed that this is happening right now, and Tammy can sense that.

"Dorothea, let's go and leave these four alone.  This is their time."  Tammy says, grabbing Dorothea's arm, pulling her toward the door.  Tammy and Dorothea have known each other for years, Tammy has been at Beth's side since the day that Jon entered her life.

"Yeah, Dot - listen to Tammy."  Jon says as he takes the papers from Beth.  "You need to leave.  Both of you!"  He's bloody pissed at both of them, never would anyone think that they would hang out.  He opens the papers.  Standing up he looks at Dot, "Why are you giving these to her?"

Dorothea drops her shoulders, defeated and honestly tells the both of them, "No one needs good news more than she does right now.  I wanted to surprise her and share with her the fact that you are now a free man before you knew about it."

(I had to reuse the pic, the PC I'm on doesn't have any saved pics.  Sorry.)