Chapter 42 - When It Burns

"I've seen the way that you two have looked at one another, and I will never forget that he came onto you.  I think there is something there and that's why you won't go back east."

"Are you listening to yourself?  Do you have any idea when I seen Richie the last time, before I flew down to get Steph?"

"I can only guess."  he walks over to the window and looks down at the vineyard.  The grounds were dimly lit and he could see people walking about.  "I can only guess."

"Well then, what's your guess?" Beth blurts at him, "When do you think I seen him?  Was it the two weeks that you were here, or was it secretly the entire time I was pregnant?" she can't believe that he is saying what he's saying and she's even more shocked that he's having the thoughts.  "He's you best friend and you really think that I would do something like that?  You're the one that cheated, not me."  She stands her ground, arms folded with the little foot tap, the foot tap that tells him she is pissed.

"How come Richie knows so much about our life?" he turns and looks at her, dropping his shoulders, "Why does he know so much?"

"So much about WHAT?  There is no 'our life' Jon, we have your life, my life and the little time that we get together.....", she stops mid sentence, "WHAT have you been up too?  My god, just tonight you have mentioned Melissa and accused me of sleeping with Richie.  Are you cheating on me?"  She can feel the feeling that she had in her stomach creeping back in, she lets herself get caught up into the feeling.  "Jon, are you cheating on me?"

 

"Damn it Beth, when have I had time and with who?"  He starts to pace, he starts to feel what Beth is feeling. 

 

"Where is this coming from?  What does Richie know about us, that no one else does?"

 

"I just think that you two are too close."

 

"Jon, Richie and I aren't anything.  Stop this, please."

 

He stops pacing long enough to look at her, really look at her and he can see the anguish in her face.  "Who's idea was it to not call me?"

 

"It was MINE!" she walks in his direction, "It was my idea, it was my decision to not call you.  You, you stupid ass, do not need to know everything."

 

"She's my daughter."

 

"And she's fine, Jon.  Knock it off."  Stopping in his face, she adds, "If it were anything but fine, I would have called you.  But your ADULT daughter didn't want you called, so I agreed."

 

He walks away from her, feeling just as betrayed as he did when he learned of their secret.  "You, I mean you of all people should have told me.  That's Stephanie, you know how I feel about Steph."

 

She sits on the bed, tired and exhausted, she looks up at him and says, "I feel the same way about her that you do, but I have a little added respect for her.  As an adult."

 

He stands there and just stares at her, his thoughts go blank.  He watches her.  She looks at him and sees that maybe he is reconsidering what he originally thought.  "I hate that Stephanie can't come to me in her time of need."

 

Beth laughs, "Could it be because you act like this?  Hon, she's a grown woman and while you may not be as close as you were, she's still your baby girl.  You need to let her know that you're there for her and that you accept that she's human."

 

"She knows that."

 

"Then why did she go to her mom?  She's talking to Dot about schools, not you."

 

He takes offense to that, "She knows I'm on tour."

 

"And she should know that you are there for her, regardless.  She calls me because I don't judge, I don't question and I let her talk to me, I don't try to drill it out of her.  I hate to say it, but she's just like you."

 

He sits next to her on the bed, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close, he kisses her head  and says, "Why do I get so crazy over you?"

"Do you mean why are you such an asshole?  I'm guessing it's because you are losing control and don't like it."

"How do you figure?" he asks her.

She stands up and walks away, "You just accused me of sleeping with your best friend.  You think that I have something going on with Richie and a kiss on the head makes it all better?" she's quite animated and quite upset.  "You piss me off."

"Now you know how I feel."

"I don't give a shit how you feel right now Jon.  Do you have any idea what you have done?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, that's NOT going to work this time.  It seems with you that I'm sorry is just an excuse to do it again."

"Bullshit."

"Have you tried to call Stephanie and see how she's doing?  Have you called Richie and chewed his ass out?  Fuck Jon, just fly down there and do it."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Cause you're pissing me off.  I have had enough of the bullshit, god damn, my life was so much easier - much less stressful before you found out I was pregnant."  She leaves the bedroom and goes downstairs, badly wanting a glass of wine.  Wanting one bad enough she grabbed a bottle from the cooler and popped the cork.  She didn't even bother getting a wine class, she dumped the water from the glass she had earlier and poured some in there; almost filling it.  The glass is to her lips and she is drinking it when Jon appears.

He stands in the door way, "How long have you been drinking?" 

She swallows what she has in her mouth and says, while holding up her glass, "This long."

"You know you shouldn't be drinking."  She knows that she can't drink while she's breastfeeding.  She has milk stored in the freezer and knows how long it takes for alcohol to clear her system .

She sets her glass of wine on the counter and braces herself, her head drops and she says, "I don't think you should be here.  Please go."