"I really miss the kids, but can we stay one more day?" Beth asks Jon as she snuggles into him as they walk down the street. "I want to go to Napa for the night, can we do that?"
Jon looks at her and smiles, "Yeah, I already thought of that. I called Gloria and the suite is ready for us."
"You did? Really?" Beth is all smiles and her heart even flutters a little bit as she's being reminded of one of the many reasons why she loves this man. "Thank you. I didn't want to say anything because I was feeling selfish about it."
"Babe, we can take time away from the kids and not be selfish." He opens the car door for her and she climbs in, fixing her dress. When he gets in the car her adds, "They need time away from us just as much as we need time away from them."
"I just feel bad."
"Well, don't. Mom and Pete have it handled. You left enough milk for the twins, everything will be fine if we're gone a day or two longer."
"A day or two?" she questions.
He laughs, "I anticipate that there will be something at the vineyard that will require your attention, oh wait, let me correct that. You will see something that you THINK requires your attention."
"No. I know it's in good hands."
"Okay." he winks at her as he turns the engine over in the 2013 rented Cadillac. "I guess we'll see."
"Have a little faith, Jon." she winks back at him, "I'm excited to see the place. I feel like I've been gone forever."
The road to Napa from LA is long and winding, but well worth the drive. The scenery is spectacular and it gives Jon and Beth time alone, uninterrupted. Jon reaches over and takes her hand, "I'm proud of you, you know that, right?"
"For what?" she rolls her head and looks at him over the top of her sunglasses.
With a squeeze of her hand he says, "For facing your demon, and facing him strong."
"I had to."
"No, you didn't. The justice system would have taken care of him today. You could have stayed away, but you didn't. You chose to face him and for that, and many other reasons, I am proud of you."
"Thank you. And thank you for being by my side." she squeezes his hand back and adds, "I wouldn't have done it without you."
"Yes you would have. That's you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Babe, it's all good. All I mean was that you are driven to do what's right, and for you that can sometimes be hard."
"It's never hard to do the right thing." she states.
"No, but it can sometimes be scary." he replies, leaving her thinking about what he just said. "That man did unspeakable things to you, twice and you walked in there today with your head held high shrouded in confidence that only comes from courage. And for that, I am extra proud of you."
She looks at him, paying attention to every detail of his face. She loves the lines in the corner of his eyes, the razor burn that she can see on his neck and she wants to kiss the corner of his mouth. Everything she seen on this man was sexy and she's thankful that they were able to get passed the issues that plagued them and the tests that God has thrown their way. "My courage comes from you r support and your ability to look at me like you do, regardless of what he did to me."
"He could never change the way that I look at you."
"He changed the way I looked at myself for a long time." she admits, kissing Jon's hand. "He changed the way I looked at everything."
"And you made it through."
"We made it through, but look at all that he has done to us, and just because I overlooked him in the park."
Jon pulls the car over into a flower shop parking lot and puts the car in park. He turns to her in his seat and says, "None of what happened is your fault. He's a sick man."
"I know, but what..........." Jon puts his fingers on her lips, stopping her from finishing her sentence.
"Beth, there is no but or what if. It's over, he's gone and we are on the road to happiness." he drops his finger and grabs her hand, "we have nothing but happiness in front of us."
"I know, I know. It's just hard sometimes. Really hard to focus on the good when you leave behind so much bad, and you lose so much." she responds, and he can see a little bit of sadness making it's way to her face, "I curse the day that he was born and even more so the day that I ignored him in the park."
Jon is getting a little upset because he can see where this is heading, so he decided that he needs to stop it, "Babe, he came into our lives, did things and was part of things that no one could have ever imagined. He ruined parts of our lives that we will never get back and parts that can never be fixed, we have to accept that and move on."
"I have."
"Then stop beating yourself up about it." he reaches up and takes her chin, directing her to look at him, "We need to move on from here and put it behind us, way behind us."
Beth's eyes start to tear and she kind of whimpers, "I always think that if I put the past behind us then I'm letting go of the girls. I can't put them in the past Jon, I just can't."
That tore at his heart strings, not only because of what she said, but he felt that way too. "I know what you mean, I struggle with that too, so in my mind I made them part of another past. I remember the tiny things that they were, how beautiful they were and how happy we were to have had them - he never enters those memories, I won't let him."
"McKenna was daddy's girl. How can you keep him from those memories?" Beth is crying now, and she promised herself that she was done crying over Dalton and the things that he did to them. "How can you keep the monster from the memories of her? Cause when I think about her, my thoughts go right to him and Melissa. I can't stop that."
Beth's words were like a dagger to the heart for Jon. McKenna was a daddy's girl, because daddy was with her all of the time. She was his side kick, wherever Jon went, McKenna was strapped on, strapped in or in his arms. They were buddies and to hear Beth acknowledge that about killed him. "She was my little girl and all the memories that I have of her are great ones. I don't let the asshole into them, and you can't either."
"I can't stop him."
"Yes you can, you know you can." he tells her and he can see, "Beth, stop punishing yourself. You did nothing wrong. We let two very sick people into our lives and they did sick things to us and our family. You are not to blame, anymore than I am."
"Why do I feel like it's my fault?"
"Because that's you. You always try to carry the burden, even if it doesn't involve you. But the bottom line is, they came into our lives, turned it upside down and inside out and now they are gone. The hole's in are heart's will heal, we just need time and each other."
She nods her head, "You're right."
"I know I am. You just have to have faith. In yourself, in me and in us."
"I have faith in all of the above." she smiles at him, reaching up and brushing the side of his face with the back of her hand, "I have faith in it all."
"Are you ready to go to the vineyard now?" he asks, wiping his own eyes from the emotional moment they just shared. "I hear a bottle of wine calling my name, what about you?"
"I hear it in stereo, so it must be two bottles calling my name."
He puts the car in drive and they are back on the road, headed to Beth's vineyard in Napa.
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