Chapter 18 - My Heart Is In Your Hands

 

 

Jon storms into the house after her, "Don't walk away from me on this one Beth, you owe me at least that much!" 

 

The screen door slams behind him, she can hear that he's beyond pissed by the tone of his voice. 

 

"Owe you?  Owe you?  What the hell do I owe you, Jon?"

 

"Let's start with the truth." he demands, walking into her, getting into her personal space.  "Tell me why you kept me in the dark and who else could be the father."

 

Beth takes a step back and says, "The truth is that I'm pregnant with twins, and you might not be the father.  I owe you nothing other than that." She walks into the kitchen to get away from him for a moment.

In an exaggerated voice he says after her, "Don't walk away.  Why do you always do that?"  He heads into the kitchen.

 

"Why didn't you call instead of driving all the way up here?  We could have done this on the phone."

 

"You would have told me dick on the phone and I would have ended up here anyway.  Who else could be the father?"

 

"Jon, that doesn't concern you, really."  She sits at the little dinette that they picked out together.  She sets her glass of water on the table and adds, "I was going to call you, I was going to tell you."

 

"When?  When they needed money for college?" he snaps back at her, a little flippant.

 

Beth chuckles, "No, I can afford that."

 

"Who Beth?  Who else might be their father?" he's getting more tense with each word that he says.  Beth can see the muscles in his jaw tense up, she knows that he's on the verge of breaking something.  She's only seen him like this one other time, and that was when he seen her for the first time after Dalton had assaulted her.  He sits down, "Who?"

 

"Will you stop already?  You weren't supposed to find out until after I had them.  I tried very hard to stay out of the public eye.  Hell, I've had my groceries and supplies delivered so I wouldn't have to go into town."

 

"None of that answers my questions.  How could you do this to me?"

 

"DO THIS TO YOU?  I have done nothing to you, Jon.  You not minding your own business, is you doing it to you."

 

"I hear you're pregnant and you expected me to not do anything?  To sit back and let you go through it alone?'

 

"That's exactly what I expected.  If my memory serves me right, you wanted out of our relationship.  The night we had together in NYC was just that.  A night together, we had sex."  she takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes, "So how is that doing anything to you?"

 

"Are you kidding me?  You have had three babies die and you wanted to do two more alone?  What if something went wrong.  What if your body rejects them and there was no one here for you."

 

Without thinking before she opened her mouth, she said the one thing that really pissed him off, "I would have called Tony or Richie."

 

"WHAT?"

 

She realizes what she just said and explains, "I would have called Tony, honestly."

 

"My brother?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Why Tony and not me?" he wonders, shocked that she would call his brother and not him. 

 

She gets up to get more water, "Do you want anything?"

 

"No.  Why would you call Tony and not me."

 

"Because I have no attachment to Tony, I have no history with Tony but he knows all that we have been through.  And not only that, he's closest."

 

Using the Italian animation, he says, "Great, you'd call my brother or my best friend before you'd call me?"  Then it hits Jon, "Does Tony know?" 

 

She nods her head, "He knows I'm pregnant, but doesn't know that you may not be the father.  He's my in case of emergency contact."

 

He slams his hand on the table and Beth jumps in fear.  She looks at Jon and she starts to cry, "I didn't want you to know until I knew who their father was."

 

"And rob me of the 9 months of pregnancy with you?  Rob me of all the ups and downs.  That's real fucking fair, Beth."

 

"How would you feel if you went through all of this and it turns out that you're not the father?  Would you feel like I robbed you of your time?"

 

"I would stay at your side, regardless.  I love you Beth." he pauses and catches his breath, "Are you in a relationship with the other potential father?"

 

"No."

 

"Does he know?"

 

She smiles an ear to ear smile and says, "Yes, I think he does" 

 

"Did you tell him?"

 

"No, I didn't"

 

"Will you tell him before they are here?"  he leans back and crosses his arms.  Trying to read her face, but he can't.

 

"I won't be talking to him." she rests her head on the table.  "Can you call me tomorrow and we can talk then.  I'm pretty beat, I had a big wedding here and carrying this extra weight drains me pretty quick."

 

"I'm not leaving here until you tell me what I need to know."

 

She's pissed now, she needs sleep and he intends to stay.  If he stays, she knows that he will talk this to death and she really doesn't have the strength or desire to do that.

 

"Go back to San Francisco Jon.  We'll talk about this another time, please."

 

"I told you that I'm not leaving."

 

"Seriously, why are you being such an asshole?  You just found out that you might be a daddy again and you come her acting like a fool.  I'm pregnant, there is a 50/50 chance that you may have another daughter and another son, very soon.  THAT is all you need to know.  And now since you're here and know all about it, I will be more than happy to add you as am emergency contact.  Does that make you happy?"

 

He reaches over and brushes back some bangs that had fallen over her eye, "Who else knows that I might not be the father?"

 

"No one, except my doctor."

 

"I love you, you have to know that and if there is even a 10% chance that they....did you say daughter and son?"

 

Nodding her head yes, she says, "One of each."

 

"I want to be there for you, babe.  You know that.  Always."

 

Beth gets up and heads toward the kitchen, as she passes by the big picture window she can see guests dancing and having a fabulous time.  She smiles at that, because she has to live the wedding desire through all of those that get married at BonAdams.  sSe knows that she'll never walk down the aisle.

 

Asking her as she walks away, "Did you cheat on me?"

 

She stops and turns around, "Cheat on you?  Are you really asking me that?"

 

"We were intimate and I deserve to know who you slept with, like you thought you needed to know about Melissa."

 

"This was before then and no I didn't cheat on you.  We haven't been in a relationship for a long time Jon."

 

"Then who is it?  Is it anyone I know?"

 

"It's not anyone you know."

 

"Then tell me." he begs. "Please tell me, the not knowing is killing me."

 

"If I tell you, will you leave?  I'm tired. Promise you'll leave, if I tell you."

 

He puts his head in his hands and mumbles, "If you tell me, I promise I'll leave."

 

"And leave me alone until I find out?"

 

He stands up and walks to her, "I can't promise that.  I want to be there when they are born."

 

"Jon...."

 

"They could be mine and if you're not telling the other guy than you need someone there." 

 

She takes his hands and has him look at her, "When I decided to move up here, I had movers move in what I had.  I didn't have much, a bed, a kitchen table, TV...you know, all the stuff I need."

 

He interrupts and asks her, "Did you sleep with a delivery guy?"

 

"Did you just ask me that?"  She scowls at him.  "I found a box one night as I was getting ready to go to bed.  Instead of going to bed, I went through the contents of the box.  In the bottom, I found papers from when Brian donated sperm to the local sperm bank to make money for his tuition.  When I seen that, I called the sperm bank the next day and made an appointment to go in."  She's watching the relief come over his face, he couldn't stand the thought of her being with another man, "When I found out that his sperm was still there, and in perfect condition, I took all the necessary steps for in vitro implant."

 

"Really?" he's floored.

 

"Yes, I had the last round of implants put in just before I flew to the east coast."

 

"And then you made love with me."

 

"Yes.  So, can you see why I question it?"

 

He reaches up and hooks her neck, pulling her close he kisses her head and says, "I am so sorry.  I was such an asshole, such a prick."

 

"You won't get any arguments from me on that."

 

"So they really could be mine?" he smiles, he smiles one of the biggest he's smiled in a long time. 

 

"There's a 50/50 that they are yours.  I can't find out until after they are born."

 

(did anyone guess that?)