Chapter 50 - When You're Lost And You're Scared

  

 

 

He hears a couple of light clicks and sees the door knob turn.  The door opens a crack, and stops.  He waits a second and then pushes it open with his foot.  Looking in, he sees Beth walking away with a baby in her arms.  "What's going on?"

 

Without looking back at him she says, "Nothing. Why didn't you let me kow that you were coming?"

 

"I did, three weeks ago." he reminds her of their last conversation as she starts up the stairs with the baby.  He can hear the other one crying upstairs.  "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine.  Go to the hotel and I'll bring the twins to you in a little bit.  They need to eat and get changed first."  She tells him as she enters the nursery.

 

"I'll help you."  He says as he follows her up the stairs, sensing that something is going on and he has no idea what it could be.  She's a mess.  Her hair looks like it hasn't been brushed yet, the shorts and sweat shirt she has on looks like she just picked it up off the floor and put them on.

 

She reaches in and lays Brianna back in her crib and then takes Spencer in her arms.  With many kisses, she takes her ritualistic seat in the rocking chair and starts to feed her son, paying no attention to his dad.  "I don't need help, Jon.  Your room is already, go check in."

 

He ignores her and walks over to hold hid daughter, she's laying there looking around until she sees her daddy.  When she sees Jon, having no idea who he is, she smiles a big smile and starts with a belly laugh.  That makes Jon smile, with his smile quickly turning into laughter.  For a few moments he was lost in the laughter of his baby girl, paying no mind to the mess that her mother was. 

 

Brianna stops laughing and continues to look up at her daddy, that's when he decides to swoop her up and give her some love.  Kisses on her cheeks, her lips and her nose are just the beginning of what Jon needed.  He needed to see his babies.  "What do you want me to put her in?"  he asks her as he looks over to her.  Her head is down and she's focused on Spencer, her bangs are covering her beautiful face.  When she doesn't respond, he gets a little louder while walking toward her, "What is wrong with you?"  He takes a seat in the second rocking chair, and reaches out to touch her hand.  She pulls away.  He then reaches up to brush the hair out of her face and she pulls away again.

 

"Jon, just go to the hotel.  I told you I would bring the twins to you." she looks at him out of the corner of her eye and he can see that she looks exhausted.

 

"What's wrong with me being here?" he snaps at her, starting to get a real uneasy feeling. 

 

"I don't want you here, to be honest with you." she tells him in a tone that would be similair if she were to tell him the weather, "There isn't any point in you being in my home.  I'll let you have the twins while you're here, but you can do it in your suite.  There is everything in there that you will need already."

 

"Where is this coming from?" he asks her, just having the wind knocked out of him.  "What happened since the last time we talked?" He puts Brianna over his shoulder and starts to burp her, her fussing was turning into more than a fuss.  "What am I missing?"

 

Beth is still feeding Spencer and he still has all of her attention, with a finger she brushes his little cheek as he suckles and she can't help but smile, her little Jon Spencer.  She finally responds to Jon, but that just leaves him with more questions.  "I don't really want to get into it now, Jon.  You're here to see the children, not rehash bullshit with me."

 

He thinks about what she just said and thinks about it for a few seconds more.  Getting up from the rocking chair, he starts to walk toward the door.  "Wait a minute, is there someone here?"

 

Beth laughs.  "Really, Jon?"  Looking up at him, without so much as lifting her head.

 

"You're hair is a mess, your clothes are a mess - is there someone here?" and he leaves the nursery.  Beth stays in the nursery, switching Spencer from her left breast to her right.  He starts to eat again, and she takes a deep breath. 

 

Jon searches the entire house and finds no one hiding, but now he can't shake the feeling.  He has it in his mind set that someone has been in the house, and maybe in the bed that they once shared.  When he's satisfied that she and the twins were alone, he walks back into the nursery and looks at Beth.  She's not moved, her hair is still in her face and she is still feeding the baby.

 

"Did you find what you were looking for?" she snidely asks him, with a hint of disgust that he would even think that way.  "Did you find my secret boyfriend,  the one that has less drama and complications than you?  The one that is always here for me when I need him?  Did you Jon, did you find the guy that protects me when I need protecting?"  It's then she looks up at him and he can see that she has been crying.

 

"My God, what happened to you?" he can barely speak, he's on the verge of vomitting and has a baby in his hands.