Chapter 53 - I'd Sell My Soul

Under her body, that rested on his, she could feel him tense up and get upset.  He knows that what she just said scares the hell out of her and he knows that she believes it.  "Well, you can't stay here until they catch him."

"I can't go anywhere, he'll find me." She says with little affect, sounding defeated.  "I know he'll find me if they don't find him first."

"What do you want me to do?  You know I'll hire whoever I have to hire to find this asshole, and I'll make sure he's locked up Beth."

"The judge on Melissa's case was supposed to do that, looks like Dalton slipped through the cracks there?"  Her hold on Jon gets a little tighter, "I should be used to it by now, nothing ever goes right for me."

Jon turns on his side and looks into her eyes, he can see that she's tired, that she's exhausted and that she has given up hope, "I'm not going to let you down, babe.  You and the kids come home with me and I'll see to it that you're protected and that we get this asshole."

Beth looks up at him, "He was going to have to kill me before he raped me again, I was not letting him take that power again."

"He won't ever hurt you again."

She rests her head on his arm, as they lay there facing one another she realizes that for once, in a very long time she feels safe with him.  A small sense of security.  She's not sure if it was because they were there with the twins or if it's because she was up high in the hotel, but she could feel herself getting sleepy.  With a yawn long, she was able to mumble, "Are you good with them when they wake up?"  Her lids go heavy and she is out like a light.

The next morning, feeling a feeling that she's never been able to forget or get over is reaching over and feeling the cold spot of the bed that Jon should be laying in.  With her back to his side, she rolls over and looks and then she lays there and listens for a minute, she hears nothing - alarming her.  "Where are my babies?"  She slowly jumps out of bed and searches the suite for her children and Jon, whom are no where to be found.  With her bathrobe in hand, she heads downstairs and searches the dining room, rubbing her eyes.  She's thinking to herself, Is this a dream?

When she doesn't find them in the dining room, she sprints over to the house and barges in the backyard.  Upon inspection of the house, she can tell that they were there, there are 2 dirty bottles in the sink and breast milk bags on the counter.  She's baffled.  When she sees that they were there, she looks out and sees that her car was in the driveway and so was his rental car.  Okay, this isn't a dream, where the hell are my children?  She says out loud, walking out onto the wrap around porch, looking around.  She sees guests as far as the eye can see, but not one of them has two babies in tow.

She plops down in a chair and waits for a few minutes, when it dawns on her.  She gets up and goes out into the garage. She sees that the double stroller is gone and takes a sigh of relief.  He went on his run, and took them with him.  She smiles as she stands in the doorway and thinks to herself, "What a good daddy."

With her mind at ease, she goes into the house and makes a cup of coffee.  The sun is new, her attitude is lighter and she feels safe, even though she knows that she is physically alone.  She believed Jon last night when he told her that Dalton would never hurt her again, she had to believe it.  She needed something to believe in.

As she walked through the kitchen to go back out onto the porch she sees that Jon's bag is opened and his Marlboro's are right on top.  Without hesitation or second thought, she grabs them and takes a seat on the deck.  With her feet kicked up, a hot cup of coffee in hand, she lights a cigarette and inhales deeply, instantly coughing.  But that doesn't stop her from enjoying a morning cigarette with a cup of coffee, to ring in maybe a new beginning.  She feels a little guilty, but she knows that she can dump the breast milk that she needs to pump, the twins are in no way going to get any nicotine or caffeine from her.

She looks out over her beautiful vineyard and takes great pride in the work that she has done and the results that have come from it.  She gave up a lot and she also got a lot, but was she really ready to let it all go?  Let it go and go back to New Jersey, the one place that holds the most memories - good and bad?

With a sip, she can hear the sound of someone jogging, quickly she looks over and sees Jon, in running clothes, aviator glasses and his prized Notre Dame ball cap, pushing the stroller with one hand as he approaches her.  She smiles a big smile as they get closer.  When he stops at the stairs, he says to her, with a big smile on his face, "The way the sunlight hits your face, you look angelic."

She walks off the porch and puts her arms around his neck, and his arms go around his waist, "Good Morning."  They kiss. and as she stops to pull back, he pulls her in again and kisses her.

"How did you sleep?" his hand slides down her back and rests on her butt.  "You were snoring when we left."

"I woke up in a panic when I couldn't find you guys." she tells him, as she leans over and checks on her babies.  Both are sound asleep, facing each other.  "How far did you go?"

"The whole vineyard and then down to the river, so, about 5 miles."

"How did they do?"  She starts up the steps to the patio, "Do yo want some water?"

"Please."  he takes off his cap and rubs his brow with the receiving blanket that he had tucked away, just in case.  "They did great, slept the entire time."  She winks at him as she walks in the house and grabs him a bottle of water and a real towel.  When she comes back out on to the porch, he's sitting there getting ready to light a cigarette.  "Were you smoking?"

"I had one with a real cup of coffee."  She playfully confesses.  "I was alone and I felt like I was being a bad girl."  She hands him his bottle of water and towel, keeping an eye on the little ones that are still sound asleep in their stroller, just off the porch.

He laughs at her, as he puts his shoeless feet on her lap.  "Just don't make it a habit."

"It made me cough, why don't you quit?"

"Cause if I quit, I'll kill everyone."

"You've done it before." she reminds him, of all the many times that he's quit and been just fine.  She pulls off his damp socks and looks down at his feet.  The tattoo that he has from when he and Dorothea were together remind her of a dark time, a time when they weren't together and should have been but she's quickly able to see the tattoo in a different light.  To her, the dragon tattoo now reminds her of the dragon lady that he divorced, for her.  For them.   Gently rubbing the top if his feet, she looks up at him and without prompting from him, she asks, "When are we moving us to New Jersey?"

He's surprised by her question, and very relieved that she brought it up and asked that very question, "Well, the moving trucks will be here on Wednesday and the packers will start tomorrow.  Is that soon enough?"  He winks at her as he takes a sip.

She smiles the smile that smiles, when he has just melted her heart and took all of her cares in the world.  "That's soon enough."

'What do you want to do with this place?"

"Do with?" she asks.

"Keep it, sell it?" he replies, not sure which way she wants to go.

She looks around the grounds and starts to tear up a little bit, "This was a gift from you, I'm keeping it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He nods his head, "Okay, but there will be no running back and forth out here alone, to do whatever."

"Deal." she gets up, working her way around his feet.  Once she's up, she climbs onto his lap and kisses him, "I have missed you so much, you have no idea."  After she kisses him, she just wraps her arms around him and holds him, neither saying a word.  His hands are gently rubbing her back, with his head resting on her shoulder.  

It seems that they both are as content as they can be.